How to wear an abaya to a wedding, function by function

Which abaya for each wedding function

Pakistani weddings run over several days and each function has its own mood. You don't need a new abaya for each one. Two well-chosen abayas, styled differently, can carry you through the whole week.

• Dholki: the most relaxed night, usually at home. An everyday abaya in a soft colour is enough. You'll be sitting on the floor and clapping along, so choose a cut that lets you move.
• Mehndi: the brightest function. This is where a printed abaya, an olive green or a mustard-toned dupatta shines. Yellow, green and orange are the traditional mehndi colours, so a neutral abaya with a bright hijab also works.
• Nikah: often held in a mosque or at home with elders present. Keep it simple and fully modest: a closed abaya, a hijab that covers well, and little sparkle.
• Barat: the most formal night. Reach for an embroidered abaya, embroidered sleeves, or an open-front abaya over a formal outfit. Deep colours such as navy, maroon, black and bottle green look rich under hall lighting.
• Valima: elegant and calmer than the barat. Softer shades suit it well: blush pink, grey, dusty rose, silver-grey and light blue.

Colours to choose and colours to avoid

Red is the bride's colour on the barat day in most Pakistani families, so guests usually avoid it. Deep maroon is generally fine, but if it reads as bridal red in photos, save it for another night.

Plain white is traditionally avoided at weddings in many families. A white abaya with coloured embroidery, or an off-white with a bright hijab, feels festive rather than plain.

Black is completely acceptable at a wedding and is the easiest base to dress up. Embroidery, a golden detail or a jewel-toned hijab lifts it for the barat. If you are part of the bride's or groom's close family, ask whether there is a colour theme for that night before you order.

Open-front or closed: which works better for a wedding

An open-front abaya is the most flexible wedding choice. Worn open over a formal shalwar kameez or a long dress, it shows the outfit underneath while still covering you. Closed with a belt, it becomes a modest dress on its own for the nikah.

A closed abaya is simpler on the day: nothing to adjust, nothing to match underneath, and it stays modest when you bend to greet elders or pick up a child. If your family is conservative or the nikah is in a mosque, a closed embroidered abaya is the safer choice.

A practical plan for the week: one open-front abaya for the barat and mehndi (styled over different outfits), and one embroidered closed abaya for the nikah and valima.

Winter weddings: staying warm without hiding your abaya

Most Pakistani weddings fall between November and February, when Lahore, Islamabad and Peshawar evenings can drop below 10°C. Marquees and open lawns get cold after the meal is served.

Wear warm layers under the abaya rather than over it: thermal leggings, a fitted inner or a thin full-sleeve top. For the drive and the walk from the car, a shawl or chaddar draped over the shoulders keeps you warm and comes off easily inside the hall.

Closed shoes or khussas with socks are kinder in winter than open sandals, and they also make it easier to walk on grass at lawn functions.

Getting the length right with heels and khussas

Wedding shoes change how an abaya falls. A 3-inch heel lifts the hem by about the same amount, so an abaya that just touches the floor in flat shoes will sit at your ankle in heels.

If you'll wear heels to the barat, choose your length with those shoes in mind. If you'll wear flat khussas, your normal length is right. As a guide, 5'1" to 5'2" usually suits 54 inches, 5'3" to 5'4" suits 56, and 5'5" and above suits 58. When you're between two lengths and wearing heels, the longer one usually looks better.

Our abayas are stitched to order in 52, 54, 56 or 58 inches, or a custom length, so you can ask for the exact length you need for your wedding shoes.

Order early in wedding season

Every Aan Abayas abaya is stitched to order, so plan ahead instead of ordering the week of the barat. After stitching, delivery takes 2 to 3 days to major cities and 3 to 5 days elsewhere in Pakistan.

Cash on delivery is available across Pakistan, and you can exchange within 7 days if something isn't right. Ask us on WhatsApp which fabric a design is in, especially if you want something heavier for a winter evening.

Questions